Michael Marley
BREAKING SNOOZE OR NAPTIME NEWS
6/6/2008

CANASTOTA, NY--Nice try, Floyd Mayweather.

Especially the sentimental part about your “heavy heart.”  I have to say that nearly brought tears to these veteran boxing eyes.

But I’ve taken your retirement announcement and placed in file 13 better known as the waste basket.

Yeah, you will never fight again. I believe that like I believe Hillary Clinton is leaving the back stabbing and front stabbing world of top level party politics.

Your staying away from the ring forever is about as likely as Hillary going out on the road to sell Tupperware door to door.

Temporary retirement?  I will bite on that one. But permanent retirement, no way Jose. Age 31, millions upon millions to come, and you're done.  Don't be so coy, Floyd Joy.

The minute I started reading your tepid announcement my eyes started glazing over.

I flashed back to a November, 1982, private plane trip I took from Peterboro, NJ, with my then boss Howard Cosell and my  “ABC Sports Beat” colleague Peter Bonventre. Cosell insisted we had to go to Balitmore to hear a major announcement by Sugar Ray Leonard.

I think it was at the Civic Center. It was carefully orchestrated and Cosell was there to add some flair to the announcement.

I know Leonard stood in the ring, microphone in hand and said, in a most serious tone, that he knew the world wanted to see him fight Marvelous Marvin Hagler but “unfortunately, that fight will never happen.”

This retirement lasted all of 13 months.

ILeonard then "retired" two more times. He retired after a dismal showing against Kevin Howard but then unretired to line up a Hagler fight. He fought a won a controversial decision over Hagler.  The third retirement came after the Hagler "Superfight" at Caesars Palace.

It was not until February, 1991, when Terrible Terry Norris beat him like a cheap drum at Madison Square Garden that Leonard retired and made it stick.

Leonard wanted to be dramatic with all his retirements. And he was.

But the first was more stirring than the second which was slightly more stirring than the third. The fourth and final retirement was by popular demand.

Now Floyd Joy wants to be dramatic. I must say I did not read any mention of Miguel Cotto in your retirement rigamarole.

Either Mayweather wants a sizable pay raise to beat Oscar de la Hoya again or he simply wants to take an extended break from boxing.

But we haven’t seen the last of Money May in a boxing ring.

Maybe he’ll even skip a rematch with Oscar. But Cotto, or someone else, is going to be out there saying that you are not The Man.

That humungous ego allows you to retire and the same massive go will bring you back.

Yeah, this is a real retirement. Yeah, sure.

 And Hillary is stocking up her station wagon with her Tupperware samples and inventory.

 And Evander Holyfield  has no financial problems. Yeah, sure.

 But, hey look at it this way, someone told me Holyfield is having trouble selling the Atlanta mansion with the 17 bathrooms.

 I saw the story on CNN along with a mention of his child support payment problem.

 Hey, Money May, these things happen when the golden faucet stops running.

 Sure you’re retired. Sure,  jaded fight fans believe you.

 I will tell you one story that is absolutely untrue.

 Holyfield having trouble selling his mansion.

Evander has no such problem.

 It looks like his friendly bankers are going to sell it for him on the courthouse steps.

 Can you say foreclosure?

 Floyd, this is a sign of fistic maturity, though, I will grant you that.

 Your first ring retirement.

 Here’s wishing you well and, of course, many more.

 Floyd, we've seen this move before.

(mlcmarley@aol.com)